Colin Says:
Hotels = Bars here in Sydney and nothing is what it seems. Most of the Hotels maintain a 2 or 3 level format with bars sprawling the whole way through. Food is generally upstairs. In the case of the Bank Hotel in Newtown a massive Thai reasturant is level 1 downstairs. Level 2 is a front to back lounge with a massive backyard. Level 3 is a raging night club with the neon glow, spinning disco balls, dj, decks and turntables. We did the tri-fecta. Thai food, lounge beer, rage beer. Got to meet Andrew’s special lady friend Gillian who is plugged into everything and managed to get us into all the places we were too “intoxicated” to get into otherwise.

This whole intoxication thing though should be explained a bit. These bouncers, in my opinion are pretty discriminating when it comes to who they think is “intoxicated”. I guess the pubs have people who start drinking around 4pm and come out to other bars completely hammered. So, these bouncers job’s is to keep the raging alcoholics out of the bar. I get it. I get it. I fucking get it. I have a couple drinks (2), come to the bar walking upright, in a perfectly straight line, words rolling off the tongue nicely, eyes open, the whole package flossin you know? Get the door guy and get “Why are you here?” and “Have you been drinking?” The incorrect answers to those questions is, “I’m coming to have some drinks and yes! This is a bar isn’t it?” You get a “We have a strict intoxication policy and cannot allow someone in who is intoxicated.” So to say I was too “intoxicated” to enter is a subjective opinion because for me i’ve been way more intoxicated than that!

Fortunately Jillian batted her eyes and kicked the asshole in the balls so we were able to get in.

Alix says:
Yes, yes, very interesting that the bars are dubbed as hotels. Although some still do have rooms above them, seems kinda like a skanky bed and breakfast type of thing. But hey, whatever works right? Also, unless you are at a true restaurant, there’s no waitstaff and so you do all the ordering at the bar. Thankfully we were with locals otherwise I would have never picked up on this and sat waiting patiently at a table!

Bank Hotel was totally the jam. The food was sooooo yummy! We met this crazy lady Vivian who for some reason took a liking to our table and just plopped herself down to join us – total cougar with hilarious tits and a blue feather boa we stole for a bit of fun, man what a character – she was totally hammered and kinda wouldn’t leave us alone. Anyway….then we rocked it to the third floor dancing, drinking champagne and people watching. On our way out a Michael McDonald song came on and Colin totally lost it and broke out into song and dance – it was pretty comical and everyone watched his performance!!

After that we went to this zillion level nightclub, the name which I cannot recall, probably due to the champagne, it was raging fun and again just full of characters! More dancing, more champagne and more people watching – Colin did a smashing job running around taking pics of randoms. Aghhhhh, it was a fun night out on the town, props to Sydney’s slammin’ nightlife!!

Colin Says:
Oh yeah. The Cougar! Great Tits but I wouldn’t touch that with a 10 foot pole even if she was sitting on my lap.